Tonight the kids are fast asleep. Noah is passed out on the couch and parker is in his room surviving a slight fall down the stairs. It is almost 3 am and here i sit. Just nourishing my body with a nutrigrain bar (mixed berry) and a few chips and salsa.. I am close to hitting the hay.
Tonight I found myself disappointed in so many things and people. Mind you I had a pretty good day with the boys. We played a lot of rock, paper, scissors and Parker had a big football practice. But I realized how hard it is to be a single mom. It is overwhelming and difficult and stressful... I find myself so alone sometimes. Raising kids alone is the biggest task i have ever taken (obviously).
Tonight my good friend colin came over to hang out with the boys. They watched movies and played imaginary games like glasses, gum, potato... and i got to go out for the first time in quite a while. (thank you colin) I went to a few different places and wound back at my house at around midnight... utterly disappointed in people once again for the day. Sometimes i wish life was more set out.. easier.
Tomorrow is a new day. It is a bright day. I see the plan ahead and no matter how stressful it may seem to me.. tomorrow will come and i will have to deal with it while carrying a little boys hand in each of mine.
Im gonna go to the toy store in the morning and buy the police puppet parker has been dying for.
Then Im gonna breathe and keep on going.
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