Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Chapter Next.






What a life. Four years ago my life took an unexpected, but invariably desired, path down the road of higher education.  Jumping in with both feet, I continually grew to crave the concept of conocimiento, (knowledge, awareness, conceptual understanding). 
My life has been crowded with chapters, more than, at times, I’d care to review. Within each chapter has been a different Heidi, one learning about herself, her strengths, her abilities, what pushes her, what hurts her, and what/who she loves. She’s acquired different life titles; Daughter, Amante, Friend, Competitor, Estudiante, Mother, Teacher, Artist, Musician, Creadora. Marvelously wonderful and definitively terrible people have come and gone, and here, I stand, empowered. I have found IT, the ultimate ambition of what it is to be human. Estoy contenta within mi mismo. Inside of myself I have found peace.

On June 14th of this year I will be attending my own graduation ceremony with proud students of the University of Washington as a graduate of the Global Studies Program minoring in Hispanic Studies.

With teary eyes, I am compelled to separate that sentence from the rest of my words, because of the profoundness of that statement to me.  Late nights of black coffee and half opened eyes, stressing over quizzes, pruebas, tests, mid-terms, finals, exams, graduate school application packets, conjointly with the responsibilities of motherhood, friendship, music, art and community. Often, I sit in a window sill of a study room hall at the university surrounded by Spanish literature, books on cultural studies, reglas de composición  history, Pasajes , and I think of my parents.  How much I miss them and how the continuation of life was seemingly impossible at their passing.  Yet, I am alive; the most alive that I have ever been, and they are alive within me.
As the end of this quarter nears, I advance by turning that last page to find myself looking at the title page of a bright new chapter.  What it will be called, yet, no sé, I don’t know, but I am ready and excited to see what titles Heidi will be given, what her strengths will be, who she will love, what will hurt her, and what will push her.  I will be flying off to Peru to begin my own independent photo journal about the indigenous women, the history, the amazon, the social struggles, and Machu Picchu in which will be privately published upon my return with the proceeds benefitting those communities. If you or someone you know would like to assist me in my financial responsibilities at home during this time I will be accepting donations.
Thank you to everyone who has stood by me through all of it, this long journey, you have made an impact inmenso. Adémas, I am so thankful for my life, even the saddest, loneliest parts, because within these parts arrived the conocimento that I have the strength and ability to achieve anything.