Wednesday, December 14, 2011

my words have not made it to this blog in quite some time. facebook has stolen them. but today i found myself shyly and half-smiling, reliving old words. here i am.
This year. oh this year. the amount of stress lines at the corners of my mouth have reached an all time high. just one of those heavy-hearted years, i ask the universe everyday to help me make it through without a breakdown. my best friends are my toughest crowd at times and my only saviors at others, and they are still growing up.
if i was married to music before, i would have to say we are on a soft break-up, the kind that everyone knows you will get back together, and everyone pushes it, but all in good time you say. sometimes you just know when you need to step away, because you always know he/she/it will be right there waiting for you when you come back.
the boys have gotten so big, with their cell phones, ipods, emails, dsis, ect, and sometimes i wonder if they understand what is real and what has been created for them through so much struggle. i cant complain. i love them more than life, and they are mine.
oh ho ho, its christmastime, again. my favorite. no matter what tradgedy or worry i am faced with when the holidays get here, i feel warm inside. i thank my father for that. growing up he made every holiday so incredibly lively, filled with the best kind of magic, love, and understanding.
i am fortunate in so many beautiful ways, and although these shoes arent always easy to walk in, ive grown comfortable in them and wear them with pride.